Alice: “Sometimes I believe in as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”
The Mad Hatter: “That is an excellent practice.”
Rush Limbaugh: “Hoorh, humph, hoo, rawh, gobbledegook.”
David Brooks: “Dumb, da-da-da dumb dumb dumb, dumb da-da-da, dumb dumb....smart.”
Not sure how many of you read David Brooks’ latest column in the New York Times—I’ll attach the URL at the bottom—but even as he is hailed the last supposedly serious, reasonable conservative by the main stream media, I’d like to point out that the very concept of a “serious, reasonable conservative” is itself, an oxymoron…emphasis on moron.
See, what has become clear through the budget debate is that there are two types of Republicans: 1) Brooks’ ilk, who seem to believe that conservatism has rational and laudible goals, and 2) bat shit crazy fuckwads that end up voting or working for the elephants because they have a religious-like belief (often combined with their actual religion, Christinsanity—or as I like to call it, creepyism) in some sort of basic conservative principal, like racism, or hypocrisy. And while I much prefer Brooks to Bachmann, the fact remains that they are both wrong, and continue to be wrong about so many things that if they were enrolled in school they’d be riding the short bus and failing classes.
If you read Brooks’ column, you’ll notice that he breaks down group 2 (although, I believe far less eloquently than I’ve done here) and castigates them as the reason for the recent Republicant failure on debt ceiling and budget talks. That’s why he get’s one smart above.
But the rest of what he said is deeply dumb. You see, conservatives, like the dwarves in Moria, delved too greedily, and too deep. They were both in search of riches (for Cons, in the form of loopholes and tax cuts), and unfortunately their lecherous and unbridled greed led them to a very dark and awful place. And neither the dwarves, nor the cants, did what every thinking and rational person must do before they undertake an endeavor: what are the consequences if I succeed?
For instance, Brooks talks in his article giddily about the prospects of a Republicant sweep of the 2012 election, suggesting that then, “controlling the White House and Congress, perhaps they will have the guts to cut Medicare unilaterally, reform the welfare state and herald in an era of Conservative greatness.” I’m actually a little embarrassed for him after writing that quote down, I mean, “the era of Conservative greatness?” What the hell does that even mean? I thought this guy was a “serious, rational, respectable person,” not some child hoping desperately that Santa brings him a pretty new pony and special new dresses for his doll collection.
Well, let’s go with what he says. For one, we know that this “era” includes cutting Medicare “unilaterally.” What fucking insurance do you suppose you’re going to have Brooks? Face it, you’re old, and you can’t keep writing nonsense forever and expecting that its going to continue to get published. What happens when you retire, you ass clown?
See, this is what the Republicants don’t ever seem to do—follow through with what would happen were they to accomplish their goals. They talk about axing Medicare, cutting Social Security, and repealing Obama care (they actually read this as “Evil Care.” For the record, I’m against Evil Care as well, but since Congress never passed a bill called Obamacare, or Evil Care, but instead passed the Affordable Care Act, it remains a moot point), but then they fail to say what they would do to replace these programs. They seem to forget, conveniently, that the health insurance industry, which is NOT a free market (the industry as a whole has anti-trust exemption, along with other special prizes), was and is continuing to rape our economy with all the subtlety of Silverback gorilla in heat.
Remember, when the CBO analyzed the effect the Affordable Care Act would have on the economy, they said that it would actually save the federal government around $128 billion by 2019 (conservative reader, I just read the CBO budget, so don’t try to lie to me like you always do and tell me I’m wrong. Go back to playing with your train set…) Granted, that isn’t a ton of savings, but it isn’t going to cost us more either. And nearly all Americans will have health insurance.
By the way, Evil Care, aka the Bush Tax Cuts, costs us $700 billion in revenue every two years—most of which goes to pay the salaries of Satan’s first captain, Grover Norquist, and his children, D.C. corporate lobbyists.
The other thing is that it seems Republicants believe that somehow if we balance the budget, the skies are going to open up and gold is going to come raining down out of the heavens. They don’t know why they believe it—they just do, with all the zeal of a drunken Scotsman in field of helpless sheep. The reality of balancing the budget during a recession and this supposed “era of Conservative greatness” to follow is that for most Americans, it means eating tuna fish sandwiches three times a day and living in your parent’s basement, because Grandma got the guest room.
The even stranger irony is that even while Brooks is pining for this “era of Conservative greatness,” along with the Republicant victories in the next election, he is excoriating the people in control of the party as foolish, self-serving, and incapable of governance. In short, he basically says that when it comes to this debt ceiling debacle, they fucked up monumentally. In a previous column, he basically labels the entire party’s leadership as irrational. Why then, would he want them in control of the government?!
Well, he may, but my guess is, most American’s by now don’t. The simple fact about the Republicant party is this: they can’t govern the country. They don’t confirm judges. They filibuster legislation Americans broadly support. They vote for legislation that Americans don’t support. They’re willing to put the country at risk of international and financial crises in order to protect tax cuts for the very rich. And, as even the delusional Brooks’ points out, they won’t even compromise on a budget deal in which they’re getting 90% of what they want. They’re so dysfunctional at this point that they simply can’t govern the country, and as much as I get frustrated with Obama and the Democrats on certain issues, they’ve made at least one thing clear to the American people: they’ll make sure the country continues to function. They’ll do the people’s business and administer government.
Oh, on a side note, I just want to congratulate the U.S. women’s soccer team on one of the biggest choke-jobs I’ve ever seen in my life. Allowing Japan to come back and score goals twice when all you had to do was keep the ball away from them for 10 minutes and then missing your first three PK’s is just terrible. And I for one, am not going to sit back like the lazy media and congratulate Japan for hanging in there, or excuse our girls for the huge egg they laid just because they’re female. For the U.S. team: that was an epic fucking fail—you lost to a team of boy-midgets with troll hair (like the dolls). They may indeed have been Japanese women, but it sure didn’t look like it to me.
For the Japanese: you won the lottery—congratulations—but I wouldn’t trade places with you. I’m sorry for the tragedy that befell you this spring, but you live on a small island with about a hundred nuclear plants in an area of the world that is prone to earthquakes. That’s the truth, and winning a women’s soccer game isn’t going to change it.
Here’s the link to Brooks’ column:
(http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/19/opinion/19brooks.html?src=ISMR_AP_LO_MST_FB)
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