Bud Selig's Epic Fail

By now I’m sure you’ve heard about umpire Jim Joyce’s blown call, spoiling Armando Galarraga’s perfect game on the last out. It was a blatantly bad call and everyone knows it; Joyce and baseball commissioner Bud Selig have both made public statements admitting it openly. However, in a stunning example of assholery, Selig has decided not to reverse the call, even though the call had zero effect on the game’s outcome—the next batter grounded out. The problem is that as Americans, we are all too used to this exact scenario: people in power making decisions not to decide, and using the excuse of adherence to principles as a justification for waffling out of responsibility, instead of showing real leadership and doing what everyone can clearly see is right.
While Joyce is certainly at fault for making a god-awful call (what was going on in his mind behind his stupid, handlebar mustached face is beyond me), he is after all human, and he has admitted his mistake. That is really all he can do; in my book he’s forgiven. The problem is that this country is crawling with morons that lack the ability to think clearly, and Joyce, as well as his family, are now receiving death threats. And Bud Selig could have easily ended the whole fiasco, for Joyce, his family, and Galarraga by making a simple decision that would have been lauded by all as the just and right thing to do…but somehow, stunningly, he didn’t.
Somehow, as I suspect today’s Republicans must do, Selig concocted a crackpot argument that allowed him to make a tremendously bad decision, a decision totally and utterly divorced from rationality—a choice that exists as the absolute antithesis of honor, decency, and all that is right. In this case, he said, we have to accept the fact that the human element is an integral part of baseball, and changing the call would endanger the very foundation of the game (yes, just in case you were wondering, that is among the top 3 dumbest things someone has ever said to justify making a terrible choice, right up there with: “he may not be smart but he’s the type of guy I could really sit down and have a beer with,” and “sure he’s only sixteen, but he said he really loved me”). Assholes and charlatans everywhere celebrated. Republicans, for the first time in recorded history, tipped their waitresses and hookers more than 8%. Surely, they thought to themselves, if someone in power can get away with such a deliberately bad choice, there must still be room for the party of swindlers, cheats, and liars.
The real tragedy for Americans is that this continues to happen time and time again: a terrible decision backed by horseshit reasoning, if any reason is given at all. Some examples: the BCS system, despite popular opposition and outcry for a playoff system, will remain in place. Single payer health care, by far the best solution for providing universal coverage and cutting the cost of our health care system, was not even an option because our government, including Obama and many of the Democrats, decided that taking the side of big insurance and pandering to the Republican party was more important than doing the business of the American people. The U.S. system of education, by and large, still operates on an outdated agrarian calendar, where students have summers off. NBA referees are hacks. We continue to fight three wars (drug, Iraq, Afghanistan) that are costing taxpayers hundreds of billions of dollars and have no end in sight. The field for March Madness, one of the most perfect events in all of sports, is going to be expanded so the sponsors and CBS can make more money. The Supreme Court has said that corporations are people, and that they can are to be totally unrestricted in influencing elections with campaign donations. A large proportion of the American public still believes that tax cuts and the deregulation of the marketplace is the best way to build the economy, even after the housing crisis and the shithouse state of our economy after 8years of Bush. Crystal Bowersox didn’t win American Idol. And for some asinine reason, neither BP, nor God, nor our Government can stop the fucking oil from leaking into the Gulf of Mexico (by the way, Southern jackasses, KARMA IS A BITCH, AIN’T IT? That’s what you get for having Tea Parties and voting for Republican oilmen for the last 50 years, you fucking racist, redneck, reactionaries--I just hope it doesn't effect the responsible humans who voted using reasonable information).
When, oh when is the insanity going to end Bud Selig, you fucking assclown? When are you going to deliver on the CHANGE you promised, Obama—you do realize that no matter what you do the Republicans are going to continue to lie, right? It’s kind of what they do. Christians and Southerners: when are you going to accept that some people are different than you are, i.e. black, latino, or gay, and that it is OK? And when are you stupid douchbags going to stop being single issue abortion voters?
I guess what I would desperately like to know, is when is our nation going to wake up and say, ENOUGH! It’s high time to have the courage in our convictions and make some real changes for the better. It’s high time for our leaders to act with justice and leadership in mind. It’s high time for our businesses and corporations to be better corporate citizens. It’s high time to do what the majority of Americans want instead of kowtowing to the whining minority, who usually happen to be idiots. And if the people in power can’t get it done, then it’s high time to get the pitchforks and torches out and go down to the capitol and get some of these fucking guys, because we can’t vote their asses out of office fast enough, and neither party is willing to nut up for the American people.
Your time is coming Bud Selig, and if you don’t think so, go down to Louisiana and ask some of those rednecks. Ask those idiots who were supporting the Republicans and their siren song of “drill baby, drill.” Ask ‘em Bud. Because they’ll tell you that Karma is big, fat, oily bitch.