Education (earmuffs)

Well, apparently Obama's choice for secretary of Education is going about as badly as all the rest of the Bush legacies he is carrying on. Arne Duncan, according to a recent article in the New York Times, simply plans on closing schools and then reopening them to solve our problems. Yeah, that sounds like a great fucking idea Arne! In fact, I'll do you one better fuckface--how about we just close all the schools and give up on public education altogether...then we can all go play with our model trains during the day while you cuddle with prostitutes and cocaine paid for by the money that used to go toward public education.
Yes, in fact the more I think about this, the more excited I get, because we all know that by closing down schools we can:
1) solve poverty
2) drive down student apathy
3) incur greater parent involvement
4) teach parents to better raise their children
5) help teachers better plan lessons and classes
6) end illegal immigration
7) make everyone's dick larger
8) finally produce a tree that does grow money
9) solve the health care crisis
and 10) end our need for foreign oil
Hoo-fucking-ray, this is great isn't it? The answer to fixing things isn't to make things better or actually examine the problems that exist in what we're trying to fix, its to outright quit. Everyone: stop working and start drinking Daquiri's.
Wait a fucking second...hold on. This isn't going to work at all, and let me tell you why: though closing schools might have a temporary effect on the overall culture of the school for a brief period of time, it isn't going to put an end to the problems that plague our youth and their education system. Students, if they have no reason to succeed (i.e. parents that don't give a shit and/or can't speak English), won't. And goddamn it, it is not the fucking fault of the teachers. If I were to tell you that there weren't bad teachers out there, I'd be lying, but for the most part, teachers are trained, licensed professionals that do a good job and are genuinely interested in the well-being and mental development of their students. Firing an entire school's faculty isn't going to change a goddamn thing, other than piss off a bunch of teachers who will ask why the fuck they got into the profession in the first place, and will go do something else where their work and efforts are appreciated rather than continuing to be the scapegoats for the lazy fucking populace of average assholes who would rather blame someone else for their problems than help their kids do math or emphasize that academic achievement is important.
Simply closing schools is the exact thing that is wrong with how our government functions; it is the appearance of doing something to solve a problem, even though that something has nothing to do with a real solution--just like passing harsher penalties for crimes, or asking the health care industry to voluntarily cut money out of its profits. What a bunch of fucking bullshit.
The democrats are turning out to be almost as bad as the Republicans, except that the Republicans hate women, racial minorities, believe in torture, supply side economics, child slavery, exporting jobs off seas, killing doctors, and have virtually no rational platform positions on issue that matter to the American public. OK, so the Democrats are no where near as bad as the Republicans, but as we are plainly seeing, that doesn't mean they are going to solve our problems. They are laying in bed with the lobbyists from big industries and largely carrying on many of the same, outrageous policies the Bush Administration rolled out. This isn't going to work, and Arne Duncan is a fucking ass clown.