Well, as usual, I had to open the newspaper to the letters to the editor section to find yet another dumb conservative spouting off about economics. Since newspapers like the Oregonian and Statesman Journal are filled with editors and ombudspeople that are nothing but a collection of spineless worms, I’ll share my letter with you here, dear readers:
The Statesman Journal should do a better job screening its letters. Recently, I read a ridiculously dumb tirade by a conservative reader who claimed that Obama’s stimulus package is going to cause inflation, and then proceeded to lecture us “liberals/socialists” on the finer points of economics.
I teach economics, and I get my information from people like Adam Smith, Dr. John Nash, and Dr. Paul Krugman, as opposed to the conservative gentleman, who I’m guessing gets his from Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity. By the way, neither Hannity, nor Limbaugh, ever graduated from college.
As for the economics: spending money through government entities, such as schools, publics works projects, research grants, etc. is almost a sure fire way to boost the economy. By paying the salaries of both public, and government contracted, private workers, the stimulus will fill in the sag in demand that has occurred recently due to the housing market’s collapse and the general contraction of the economy. The assertion that this will cause any kind of dangerous inflation is laughable.
Additionally, the gentleman may want to check his numbers. The CPI, the government’s method for measuring inflation, has recently fallen about 1.3% over the past year, meaning that we are currently experiencing deflation. So, even if the stimulus does cause some inflation, that might not necessarily be a bad thing.
This is the problem with our current political climate: media sources, whose duty to the public as the fourth estate and controller of information is to report facts, consistently treat conservative rhetoric as if it is actually a rational world view, which, as the Republican Party veers ever to the right, is absurd, obnoxious, and totally irresponsible. When the Statesman receives a letter of this nature, the proper thing to do would be to call the gentleman and laugh at him when he answers, or, if you really wanted to stay classy, you could just throw it away.
Remember, these are people that do not believe in science, that have replaced reason and constructive thinking with faith, and continue to believe in ideas and theories that, when put in practice, are disastrous. The Statesman would do well to remember this the next time they decide to publish a letter, or op-ed for that matter, that displays such a lack of intelligence and critical thought.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
Things I Hate: In no particular order (Vol. 1-Earmuffs)
1) Twilight and Paperback Novels: Sure, I've never actually read Twilight, but I just know that its dogshit right off the bat. 1st clue: teenage girls like it. Teenage girls are dumb. And just to make sure, I looked it up in Websters and it said, "dumb--(adj.) stupid, unintelligent, the opposite of smart. Ex: teenage girls are dumb because they like that new book about a daywalking vampire, and everyone knows that's horseshit." Then they had a picture of a dumb looking teenage girl wearing a Twilight shirt. Case-mothafuckin-closed, gangstas.
Seriously though, reading moronic books like Twilight and paperback novels is bad in a more insidious way--they actually achieve the opposite of promoting critical thought, reason, or a rational understanding of the human condition; things that every writer should have as part of their mission. These books are simply written to make money. There's nothing wrong with making money, but just because you're successful doesn't mean you are doing a good thing. Rush Limbaugh is a very fat and rich man. What he does makes him a lot of money. He also has possibly the most filthy, stinking, satanic soul that the world has known this side of Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin. He promotes hate, misunderstanding, ignorance, and bigotry, and swims in a philosophical cest pool of drug addict feces. Twilight readers: this means he is a bad person.
Paper back novels are no better than watching soap operas--they rely on cheap thrills, shock value, and making shit up as they go--not unlike "Lost." Therefore, they have no real bearing on reality and no real social or intellectual worth. And why not read something good? I've got plenty of suggestions...be a person.
(Eleven great books: 1) Catcher in the Rye, 2) Adventures of Huck Finn, 3) On the Road, 4) The brief wondrous life of Oscar Wao, 5) Lord of the Rings, 6) the Alchemist, 7) The Road--very dark for those shy of horrification, 8) Gravity's Rainbow, 9) 3 Cups of Tea--non fiction, 10) The Slaughter House Five, and 11) The Good Earth--I realize that I have a male centric list here, so ladies, feel free to make some suggestions and I'll list those in the next edition)
2) Sleeping More Than Necessary: Think about it: sleeping, aside from dreams, is like being dead. Time is passing and you have no awareness of the physical world. Or, if there is an afterlife, and its good, then sleeping is worse than being dead (if its bad, then you certainly aren't helping your case by sleeping, are you, ya lazy bastard).
Look, go ahead and sleep for 6, 7, 8, even 9 hours, but its time to get up after that and start BEING a human BEING. I mean, if you sleep more than that, your life must suck, and I can goddamn guarantee the solution to life not sucking isn't sleeping for 11 or 12 hours a day.
Oh, and another thing, sleep isn't a tax or a fee, or a bill--it doesn't build up over time and you don't need to "catch up." It's not as if for every hour you get less than 8 hours parks itself in your personal sleep bank as debt. You need enough to function and feel good--that's it.
The last thing I'll say is that if you're sleeping because you're bored, find something to do that is enjoyable or useful. Sleeping too much has been linked with depression, and it can actually make you more tired. If you sleep too much, you're basically like a lazy ninny, so either get out of bed, or start putting on your wolf sweater and give up on yourself.
3) People That Complain About Food They Get at Restaurants: First off, let me qualify that I'm not talking about if there's a toe in your soup, or some actual flaw in the food. I'm talking about a dish that is cooked fine, but for some reason or another doesn't jive with the diner's picadillos. Look, it is partially your responsibility, when you go to a restaurant, to order something you'll like. Yes, ideally every dish a restaurant serves is good, but unless they tricked you, or the menu is written in Urdu, you should be able to have a pretty damn good idea of what the hell you were getting yourself into.
In other words, take some responsibility. If you don't like crab, don't order it, or if you do then don't blame the fucking restaurant because you're a fucking idiot. And if you think there should be more clams in the chowder, just keep in mind that the dish is called "clam chowder," not "clams."
I guess my point is that if you're really picky, maybe you should learn to cook instead of going out to eat all the time. Don't blame the restaurant because you got what you ordered and didn't like it. Get better at ordering--here's a hint: ask the waiter--when I waited tables I wouldn't let my guests order something gross unless they really, really wanted to. And if its not a good restaurant...don't go.
Seriously though, reading moronic books like Twilight and paperback novels is bad in a more insidious way--they actually achieve the opposite of promoting critical thought, reason, or a rational understanding of the human condition; things that every writer should have as part of their mission. These books are simply written to make money. There's nothing wrong with making money, but just because you're successful doesn't mean you are doing a good thing. Rush Limbaugh is a very fat and rich man. What he does makes him a lot of money. He also has possibly the most filthy, stinking, satanic soul that the world has known this side of Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin. He promotes hate, misunderstanding, ignorance, and bigotry, and swims in a philosophical cest pool of drug addict feces. Twilight readers: this means he is a bad person.
Paper back novels are no better than watching soap operas--they rely on cheap thrills, shock value, and making shit up as they go--not unlike "Lost." Therefore, they have no real bearing on reality and no real social or intellectual worth. And why not read something good? I've got plenty of suggestions...be a person.
(Eleven great books: 1) Catcher in the Rye, 2) Adventures of Huck Finn, 3) On the Road, 4) The brief wondrous life of Oscar Wao, 5) Lord of the Rings, 6) the Alchemist, 7) The Road--very dark for those shy of horrification, 8) Gravity's Rainbow, 9) 3 Cups of Tea--non fiction, 10) The Slaughter House Five, and 11) The Good Earth--I realize that I have a male centric list here, so ladies, feel free to make some suggestions and I'll list those in the next edition)
2) Sleeping More Than Necessary: Think about it: sleeping, aside from dreams, is like being dead. Time is passing and you have no awareness of the physical world. Or, if there is an afterlife, and its good, then sleeping is worse than being dead (if its bad, then you certainly aren't helping your case by sleeping, are you, ya lazy bastard).
Look, go ahead and sleep for 6, 7, 8, even 9 hours, but its time to get up after that and start BEING a human BEING. I mean, if you sleep more than that, your life must suck, and I can goddamn guarantee the solution to life not sucking isn't sleeping for 11 or 12 hours a day.
Oh, and another thing, sleep isn't a tax or a fee, or a bill--it doesn't build up over time and you don't need to "catch up." It's not as if for every hour you get less than 8 hours parks itself in your personal sleep bank as debt. You need enough to function and feel good--that's it.
The last thing I'll say is that if you're sleeping because you're bored, find something to do that is enjoyable or useful. Sleeping too much has been linked with depression, and it can actually make you more tired. If you sleep too much, you're basically like a lazy ninny, so either get out of bed, or start putting on your wolf sweater and give up on yourself.
3) People That Complain About Food They Get at Restaurants: First off, let me qualify that I'm not talking about if there's a toe in your soup, or some actual flaw in the food. I'm talking about a dish that is cooked fine, but for some reason or another doesn't jive with the diner's picadillos. Look, it is partially your responsibility, when you go to a restaurant, to order something you'll like. Yes, ideally every dish a restaurant serves is good, but unless they tricked you, or the menu is written in Urdu, you should be able to have a pretty damn good idea of what the hell you were getting yourself into.
In other words, take some responsibility. If you don't like crab, don't order it, or if you do then don't blame the fucking restaurant because you're a fucking idiot. And if you think there should be more clams in the chowder, just keep in mind that the dish is called "clam chowder," not "clams."
I guess my point is that if you're really picky, maybe you should learn to cook instead of going out to eat all the time. Don't blame the restaurant because you got what you ordered and didn't like it. Get better at ordering--here's a hint: ask the waiter--when I waited tables I wouldn't let my guests order something gross unless they really, really wanted to. And if its not a good restaurant...don't go.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Education (earmuffs)
Well, apparently Obama's choice for secretary of Education is going about as badly as all the rest of the Bush legacies he is carrying on. Arne Duncan, according to a recent article in the New York Times, simply plans on closing schools and then reopening them to solve our problems. Yeah, that sounds like a great fucking idea Arne! In fact, I'll do you one better fuckface--how about we just close all the schools and give up on public education altogether...then we can all go play with our model trains during the day while you cuddle with prostitutes and cocaine paid for by the money that used to go toward public education.
Yes, in fact the more I think about this, the more excited I get, because we all know that by closing down schools we can:
1) solve poverty
2) drive down student apathy
3) incur greater parent involvement
4) teach parents to better raise their children
5) help teachers better plan lessons and classes
6) end illegal immigration
7) make everyone's dick larger
8) finally produce a tree that does grow money
9) solve the health care crisis
and 10) end our need for foreign oil
Hoo-fucking-ray, this is great isn't it? The answer to fixing things isn't to make things better or actually examine the problems that exist in what we're trying to fix, its to outright quit. Everyone: stop working and start drinking Daquiri's.
Wait a fucking second...hold on. This isn't going to work at all, and let me tell you why: though closing schools might have a temporary effect on the overall culture of the school for a brief period of time, it isn't going to put an end to the problems that plague our youth and their education system. Students, if they have no reason to succeed (i.e. parents that don't give a shit and/or can't speak English), won't. And goddamn it, it is not the fucking fault of the teachers. If I were to tell you that there weren't bad teachers out there, I'd be lying, but for the most part, teachers are trained, licensed professionals that do a good job and are genuinely interested in the well-being and mental development of their students. Firing an entire school's faculty isn't going to change a goddamn thing, other than piss off a bunch of teachers who will ask why the fuck they got into the profession in the first place, and will go do something else where their work and efforts are appreciated rather than continuing to be the scapegoats for the lazy fucking populace of average assholes who would rather blame someone else for their problems than help their kids do math or emphasize that academic achievement is important.
Simply closing schools is the exact thing that is wrong with how our government functions; it is the appearance of doing something to solve a problem, even though that something has nothing to do with a real solution--just like passing harsher penalties for crimes, or asking the health care industry to voluntarily cut money out of its profits. What a bunch of fucking bullshit.
The democrats are turning out to be almost as bad as the Republicans, except that the Republicans hate women, racial minorities, believe in torture, supply side economics, child slavery, exporting jobs off seas, killing doctors, and have virtually no rational platform positions on issue that matter to the American public. OK, so the Democrats are no where near as bad as the Republicans, but as we are plainly seeing, that doesn't mean they are going to solve our problems. They are laying in bed with the lobbyists from big industries and largely carrying on many of the same, outrageous policies the Bush Administration rolled out. This isn't going to work, and Arne Duncan is a fucking ass clown.
Yes, in fact the more I think about this, the more excited I get, because we all know that by closing down schools we can:
1) solve poverty
2) drive down student apathy
3) incur greater parent involvement
4) teach parents to better raise their children
5) help teachers better plan lessons and classes
6) end illegal immigration
7) make everyone's dick larger
8) finally produce a tree that does grow money
9) solve the health care crisis
and 10) end our need for foreign oil
Hoo-fucking-ray, this is great isn't it? The answer to fixing things isn't to make things better or actually examine the problems that exist in what we're trying to fix, its to outright quit. Everyone: stop working and start drinking Daquiri's.
Wait a fucking second...hold on. This isn't going to work at all, and let me tell you why: though closing schools might have a temporary effect on the overall culture of the school for a brief period of time, it isn't going to put an end to the problems that plague our youth and their education system. Students, if they have no reason to succeed (i.e. parents that don't give a shit and/or can't speak English), won't. And goddamn it, it is not the fucking fault of the teachers. If I were to tell you that there weren't bad teachers out there, I'd be lying, but for the most part, teachers are trained, licensed professionals that do a good job and are genuinely interested in the well-being and mental development of their students. Firing an entire school's faculty isn't going to change a goddamn thing, other than piss off a bunch of teachers who will ask why the fuck they got into the profession in the first place, and will go do something else where their work and efforts are appreciated rather than continuing to be the scapegoats for the lazy fucking populace of average assholes who would rather blame someone else for their problems than help their kids do math or emphasize that academic achievement is important.
Simply closing schools is the exact thing that is wrong with how our government functions; it is the appearance of doing something to solve a problem, even though that something has nothing to do with a real solution--just like passing harsher penalties for crimes, or asking the health care industry to voluntarily cut money out of its profits. What a bunch of fucking bullshit.
The democrats are turning out to be almost as bad as the Republicans, except that the Republicans hate women, racial minorities, believe in torture, supply side economics, child slavery, exporting jobs off seas, killing doctors, and have virtually no rational platform positions on issue that matter to the American public. OK, so the Democrats are no where near as bad as the Republicans, but as we are plainly seeing, that doesn't mean they are going to solve our problems. They are laying in bed with the lobbyists from big industries and largely carrying on many of the same, outrageous policies the Bush Administration rolled out. This isn't going to work, and Arne Duncan is a fucking ass clown.
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